Comments on: Celebrate Constitution Day Bush-Style http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/ Author James Bovard Thu, 20 Nov 2008 08:09:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Free New York Blog » Blog Archive » It’s Time To Celebrate! http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4704 Free New York Blog » Blog Archive » It’s Time To Celebrate! Fri, 22 Sep 2006 01:54:22 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4704 [...] Jim Bovard, author of ATTENTION DEFICIT DEMOCRACY has made some contemporary suggestions on how to party at this joyous time on his blog. 1) Wiretap your neighbor. If he discovers it and complains, ask him whose side he is on and what does he have to hide. Send the tapes of all conversations to the local FBI. 2) Capture and torture an illegal immigrant. If he confesses, turn him in. If he doesn’t confess, try new methods to extract the truth. 3) Notify your mortgage company that you appended a secret “signing statement” when you signed the mortgage. Thus, you are relieved of any duty to continue monthly payments. [...] [...] Jim Bovard, author of ATTENTION DEFICIT DEMOCRACY has made some contemporary suggestions on how to party at this joyous time on his blog. 1) Wiretap your neighbor. If he discovers it and complains, ask him whose side he is on and what does he have to hide. Send the tapes of all conversations to the local FBI. 2) Capture and torture an illegal immigrant. If he confesses, turn him in. If he doesn’t confess, try new methods to extract the truth. 3) Notify your mortgage company that you appended a secret “signing statement” when you signed the mortgage. Thus, you are relieved of any duty to continue monthly payments. [...]

]]> By: americanintifada http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4656 americanintifada Wed, 20 Sep 2006 08:18:59 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4656 Jim - I can quaff down hundreds of B-52s, but I don't think they're considered 'tropical' drinks! If you mean the band, I can listen those particular Georgia-based rock-n-rollers all night long! If you mean the actual bomber, I think it is obsolete now and has been replaced by more stealthy weaponry of mass destruction! Thanks for the tip, though, and I will see you soon in the Gulag! You'll recognize me for sure because I'm the old, fat, bald, white guy with a tortured look on my face!!! Jim - I can quaff down hundreds of B-52s, but I don’t think they’re considered ‘tropical’ drinks! If you mean the band, I can listen those particular Georgia-based rock-n-rollers all night long! If you mean the actual bomber, I think it is obsolete now and has been replaced by more stealthy weaponry of mass destruction! Thanks for the tip, though, and I will see you soon in the Gulag! You’ll recognize me for sure because I’m the old, fat, bald, white guy with a tortured look on my face!!!

]]> By: Jim http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4645 Jim Wed, 20 Sep 2006 02:48:40 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4645 JQ - if people followed your suggestion, it would only be a question of time until the government began licensing bullhorns. Or else insisted on a monopoly on bull. JQ - if people followed your suggestion, it would only be a question of time until the government began licensing bullhorns.

Or else insisted on a monopoly on bull.

]]> By: Jim http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4644 Jim Wed, 20 Sep 2006 02:43:50 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4644 AmericanIntifada - I hear that there are great tropical drinks available in Diego Garcia. Keep your eyes open for any B-52s heading for Tehran. AmericanIntifada - I hear that there are great tropical drinks available in Diego Garcia.

Keep your eyes open for any B-52s heading for Tehran.

]]> By: Jim http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4643 Jim Wed, 20 Sep 2006 02:37:45 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4643 Ross - thanks for the kind words on ADD! Ya, I don't think the Education Department would approve. I hear they are prejudiced against writers who use colons. Ross - thanks for the kind words on ADD!

Ya, I don’t think the Education Department would approve. I hear they are prejudiced against writers who use colons.

]]> By: Ross Ruthenberg http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4634 Ross Ruthenberg Tue, 19 Sep 2006 19:24:29 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4634 Just finished your great A.D.D. book. Should be required reading in all our schools. Oh wait, that would require approval by the U.S. Department of Education. Damn! Just finished your great A.D.D. book. Should be required reading in all our schools. Oh wait, that would require approval by the U.S. Department of Education. Damn!

]]> By: Warren Ward http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4616 Warren Ward Tue, 19 Sep 2006 10:23:34 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4616 You need to quit calling Bush the "Commander in Chief." According to the Constitution, Congress is the commander-in-chief except in a declared war. It gives him too much credibility. You need to quit calling Bush the “Commander in Chief.” According to the Constitution, Congress is the commander-in-chief except in a declared war. It gives him too much credibility.

]]> By: americanintifada http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4612 americanintifada Tue, 19 Sep 2006 05:05:27 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4612 That didn't work for me, JQ. I thought it would be a wonderful idea to run around the neighborhood with my bullhorn blasting at 1 AM today, but eventually found myself incarderated for committing an Act of Terrorism! The local police told me that the Constitution is 'on hold' right now. Go figure! Now I'm in a place called Diego Garcia, surrounded by brand new friends who all just happen to have olive-colored skin, orange jumpsuits and thick Arab accents. Is there a lawyer in the house? Oh, wait! I AM a lawyer! Never mind!!! That didn’t work for me, JQ. I thought it would be a wonderful idea to run around the neighborhood with my bullhorn blasting at 1 AM today, but eventually found myself incarderated for committing an Act of Terrorism! The local police told me that the Constitution is ‘on hold’ right now. Go figure! Now I’m in a place called Diego Garcia, surrounded by brand new friends who all just happen to have olive-colored skin, orange jumpsuits and thick Arab accents. Is there a lawyer in the house? Oh, wait! I AM a lawyer! Never mind!!!

]]> By: J. Q. Smith http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4608 J. Q. Smith Mon, 18 Sep 2006 19:47:17 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4608 Start a Neighborhood Security Administration (NSA, like TSA). Install a metal detector on your block, that everyone has to go thru each time they want to use their own rest room. Ensure that they cannot carry anything into their homes which is a liquid. Uh oh, that means no water at home! Well, never mind, no sacrifice is too much when it comes to neighborhood security. We will all have to learn to do without water, what with the bad guys using liquid to endanger our neighborhoods. Then, go around with a bull horn proclaiming loudly that you are hard at work protecting the neighborhood. Start a Neighborhood Security Administration (NSA, like TSA). Install a metal detector on your block, that everyone has to go thru each time they want to use their own rest room. Ensure that they cannot carry anything into their homes which is a liquid. Uh oh, that means no water at home! Well, never mind, no sacrifice is too much when it comes to neighborhood security. We will all have to learn to do without water, what with the bad guys using liquid to endanger our neighborhoods. Then, go around with a bull horn proclaiming loudly that you are hard at work protecting the neighborhood.

]]> By: Connor’s Conundrums | Constitution Day, Bush-Style http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4604 Connor’s Conundrums | Constitution Day, Bush-Style Mon, 18 Sep 2006 18:51:42 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4604 [...] Dang! It slipped my mind that yesterday was Constitution Day! I was hoping to plan some festivities and make a big thing out if it. Jim Bovard offered three great suggestions for how to celebrate such a day in “this Age of Bush” (I’ll try to remember these for next year): [...] [...] Dang! It slipped my mind that yesterday was Constitution Day! I was hoping to plan some festivities and make a big thing out if it. Jim Bovard offered three great suggestions for how to celebrate such a day in “this Age of Bush” (I’ll try to remember these for next year): [...]

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