{"id":16557,"date":"2021-10-04T13:00:07","date_gmt":"2021-10-04T17:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/?p=16557"},"modified":"2021-10-04T22:21:17","modified_gmt":"2021-10-05T02:21:17","slug":"the-best-speech-i-never-gave","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/2021\/10\/04\/the-best-speech-i-never-gave\/","title":{"rendered":"The Best Speech I Never Gave"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Bovard photo, 2006<\/p><\/div>\n

Libertarian Institute, October 4, 2021<\/p>\n

The Best Speech I Never Gave<\/a><\/h1>\n

by James Bovard<\/p>\n

Prices convey information, especially the price of zero. There is often more latent intelligence signaled by prices than by the claimed good intentions of political zealots\u2014even those on the side of peace and liberty.<\/strong><\/p>\n

On the fifth anniversary of the 9\/11 attacks, I tromped to the National Mall in Washington to make a speech on the evils of the War on Terror. Antiwar demonstrators had organized Camp Democracy, a few blocks in front of the U.S. Capitol on the Mall. The speaking gig was arranged by a lady from the Veterans for Peace who I met at the 2004 National Libertarian Party convention. After she nudged hard for a freebie, I told her, \u201cIf there is a good audience, I\u2019m willing to waive my usual speaking fee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure \u2013 we can do that,\u201d she assured me. She wanted to have at least one libertarian on the program.<\/p>\n

At that point, President George W. Bush and his allies were tarring Democrats as terrorist sympathizers for failing to support legislation retroactively legalizing torture. The demagoguery was doubling each week closer to the 2006 midterm congressional elections.<\/p>\n

I was juggling a lot of deadlines back then but I wanted to support anyone opposing Bush\u2019s authoritarianism and warmongering. My \u2018prep\u2019 for that spiel consisted of finding and updating the dog-eared copy of the speech I gave at the National Press Club a few months earlier. I carefully perused the text before taking a nap on the subway ride into Washington.<\/p>\n

Camp Democracy was being whooped up by its organizers as a grandiose event with multiple simultaneous\u00a0 speakers, workshops, and other activities. I was booked for a talk at 1:30 p.m. at Tent #2. I was slated to rattle on for 90 minutes but I\u2019m rarely that sadistic.<\/p>\n

Exiting the Smithsonian subway stop, I saw a row of tents a few blocks down the Mall and headed that way. As I came closer, I wondered if Homeland Security agents had detonated a new-fangled bomb that vaporized people but left all the physical structures still standing. Almost no one was there. A friend had assured me that there would be a Domed Meditation Tent with \u201cspiritual chanting\u201d but I heard nothing. I shrugged and gave up hope for getting any new mantras that day.<\/p>\n

I found one tent with traces of life and walked up to the table with a sign, MEDIA CHECK-IN.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is Tent # 2?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

The stout middle-aged woman sitting behind the table stared at me as if I were asking directions to the moon.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m scheduled to speak at Tent #2 in a few minutes,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

She hemmed and hawed and then said \u201cLet me check\u201d before zipping off to find other volunteers. No need to tell myself, \u201cBe still my beating heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

She returned a few minutes later and announced: \u201cWhat we are going to do is combine your talk with that of a couple other speakers because the crowd is not that large.\u201d<\/p>\n

I grimaced. Being on a panel makes it be far more difficult to sneak out early. And I pride myself on graceful\u2014or at least not hellishly indecorous\u2014exits.<\/p>\n

Up came another organizer, a jittery, gaunt 40ish guy wearing a \u201cKerry-Edwards Presidential Election Night Team\u201d wind breaker. Lordie\u2014glad to see they had winners running the show. He looked at his clipboard and pointed at me: \u201cAre you an author? Or are you a non-book person?\u201d<\/p>\n

I mentioned that my book Attention Deficit Democracy <\/em>had been published earlier that year and his eyes briefly lit up. \u201cThat is a great title,\u201d he replied, struck by the novelty. The program listed the title of my spiel that day as \u201cBush and Attention Deficit Democracy.\u201d Maybe the organizers had been too busy to look at the schedule.<\/p>\n

I headed over to Tent #2 where two speakers from the prior round were finishing gesticulating to an audience that could have fit into a telephone booth. As soon as the speakers finished, everyone vamoosed\u2014maybe stampeding to the only Port-A-John on the Mall?<\/p>\n

Not far from the tent, I recognized a Maryland peace activist and she and I commiserated on our miserable governor who regrettably was never convicted and imprisoned. As we chatted, a deranged guy in army fatigues came up and did an incomprehensible three-minute soliloquy. I didn\u2019t realize that he would be my high-water mark for \u201caudience engagement\u201d that day.<\/p>\n

At that point, it was 13 minutes after my Gettysburg Address was scheduled to commence. On the bright side, there was plenty of seating so no one would have to stand during my speech. On the flipside, nobody was in Tent #2.<\/p>\n

A petite, aging antiwar activist named Hildegard came bubbling up, suitably attired with a bright purple vest with political campaign buttons all the way back to the 1968 Eugene McCarthy campaign. She assured me that if I started talking, maybe some people who were milling around elsewhere in the encampment would come over and listen.<\/p>\n

I burst out laughing. \u201cI think it is time to draw the \u2018Curtain of Mercy\u2019 on my speech.\u201d<\/p>\n

She emphatically disagreed. She said they were trying to find the megaphone so someone could go around the area and summon people to Tent #2.<\/p>\n

I told Hildegard the audience might need a rest after two hours of previous speakers.<\/p>\n

She urged me to wait to see if they could lasso an audience.<\/p>\n

The co-organizer of the event\u2014a hyper New Yorker guy with multiple earrings named Randall\u2014arrived on the scene. He was legendary for having more arrests for disrupting congressional hearings on Pentagon budgets than any other activist in the greater metropolitan area.<\/p>\n

Hildegard turned to him and said, \u201cThe speaker says we should \u2018pull the curtain of mercy on his presentation. Maybe he\u2019s right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Randall looked puzzled and then asked me: \u201cWhat was the topic of the workshop you are leading?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA book I wrote, Attention Deficit Democracy<\/em>,\u201d I replied lackadaisically.<\/p>\n

Two women with organizer armbands came upon the scene. The first announced, \u201cWe have to have him talk because he is an author\u2014he has books to sign.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t have any of his books,\u201d said the other lady, apparently her assistant.<\/p>\n

The first woman threw her arms up in the air and walked away.<\/p>\n

A grizzled vet of antiwar protests from the Vietnam era came upon the scene. He was wearing an armband but I had no idea what his role was that day. \u201cLook at all these empty tents\u2014Americans just don\u2019t care about democracy,\u201d he raged.<\/p>\n

I refrained from tossing out one of my favorite Shakespeare quotes; \u201cThe fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.\u201d Sure, plenty of Americans were hopelessly apathetic and shamelessly docile to the current regime. But this event wasn\u2019t like the superbly-organized antiwar demonstrations I often saw in D.C. Camp Democracy had 16 days of events, including a vast number of sessions in the middle of weekdays. (This was before the COVID era when everyone in Washington got paid to \u201cwork from home.\u201d<\/strong>) Perhaps speakers should have been notified to bring their own listeners.<\/p>\n

Hildegard chirped up: \u201cI can call you if we have another speaker time open later in the week so you could have a bigger audience.\u201d<\/p>\n

I thanked her but insisted that I was not worthy. There was no chance that this protest would put any dents Bush\u2019s militaristic juggernaut.<\/p>\n

As I ambled back to the subway, I recalled Huckleberry Finn\u2019s description of an Arkansas farmer who ran his own church \u201cand never charged nothing for his preaching, and it was worth it, too.\u201d Free speech is an invaluable ideal but it is no substitute for a live audience. Happily, most of the activists I have dealt with in subsequent years were far better organized than the Camp Democracy crew. Admittedly, I skew the odds by rarely waiving speaking fees.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Libertarian Institute, October 4, 2021 The Best Speech I Never Gave by James Bovard Prices convey information, especially the price of zero. There is often more latent intelligence signaled by prices than by the claimed good intentions of political zealots\u2014even those on the side of peace and liberty. On the fifth anniversary of the 9\/11 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16558,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[359,22,3037,3036,3035,630,345,434],"class_list":["post-16557","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-antiwar","tag-attention-deficit-democracy","tag-huckleberry-finn","tag-leftists","tag-national-mall","tag-shakespeare","tag-speech","tag-washington"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Best Speech I Never Gave - James Bovard<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"On the 5th anniversary of the 9\/11 attacks, I tromped to the National Mall to speak at Camp Democracy. 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The Wall Street Journal called Bovard \"the roving inspector general of the modern state\" and Washington Post columnist George Will called him a \"one-man truth squad.\" His 1994 book, Lost Rights: The Destruction of American Liberty, received the Free Press Association\u2019s Mencken Award as Book of the Year. His Terrorism & Tyranny won the Lysander Spooner \"Best Book on Liberty in 2003\" award. He received the Thomas Szasz Award for Civil Liberties work, awarded by the Center for Independent Thought and the Freedom Fund Award from the Firearms Civil Rights Defense Fund of the National Rifle Association. Bovard\u2019s writings have been publicly denounced by FBI director Louis Freeh, the Secretary of Agriculture, the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, the Postmaster General, and the chiefs of the U.S. International Trade Commission, the Drug Enforcement Administration, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, and the Federal Emergency Management Agency, as well as by many congressmen and other malcontents.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.jimbovard.com","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jim.bovard","https:\/\/x.com\/jimbovard"],"url":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/author\/admin\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16557","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16557"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16557\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16566,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16557\/revisions\/16566"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16558"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16557"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16557"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16557"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}