{"id":19155,"date":"2024-02-11T19:01:38","date_gmt":"2024-02-12T00:01:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/?p=19155"},"modified":"2024-02-12T09:22:13","modified_gmt":"2024-02-12T14:22:13","slug":"n-y-post-how-joe-biden-can-save-his-old-man-image","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/2024\/02\/11\/n-y-post-how-joe-biden-can-save-his-old-man-image\/","title":{"rendered":"N.Y. Post: How Joe Biden can save his old-man image"},"content":{"rendered":"

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New York Post, February 11, 2024<\/p>\n

How Joe Biden can save his old-man image<\/a><\/h1>\n
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By\u00a0<\/span> James Bovard <\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

After Thursday\u2019s special-counsel report tagged the president as an \u201celderly man with a poor memory,\u201d<\/a> Joe Biden needs all the help he can get. The Post came to his rescue<\/a> Saturday with a celebrity stylist\u2019s tips on how he \u201c<\/strong>can freshen up his look.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

But my experience says those makeover tips aren\u2019t silver bullets and ignore Biden\u2019s real problems.<\/p>\n

To make his face look less antiquated, beauty consultant Sara Alviti encourages Biden to use CBD oil. Actually, this fix could help Biden with young voters even more than his endless illegal schemes to cancel federal student debt. The next time Biden wanders around aimlessly on stage or talks gibberish, his advisers can wink into the television camera and claim the prez overdosed on cannabis extract.<\/p>\n

Biden needs a \u201ccooler haircut \u2014 shorter, sexier,\u201d Alviti says. People should never take hairdo advice from bald dudes, so I\u2019ll punt on that issue.<\/p>\n

Alviti urges Biden to start wearing \u201cstylish sneakers\u201d that cost up to $1,390. But Biden\u2019s image was severely bruised by the $23 bicycle toe clips that helped cause his tumble during a 2022 bike ride at Rehoboth Beach, Del.\u00a0\u00a0<\/a>Toe clips are a Pandora\u2019s box for bicyclists who need to shift their feet to stop quickly and easily \u2014 such as for a photo opportunity. Alas, the White House failed to consult me \u2014 a long-term urban cyclist \u2014 on this equipment issue before Biden\u2019s crash.<\/p>\n

Peptide creams are recommended to \u201creduce sun damage\u201d on Biden\u2019s face. But there are no creams to cure idiocy. Biden was diagnosed with basal cell carcinoma last year, a skin cancer tied to excessive sun exposure. Yet Biden returned last month from a St. Croix vacation with his face looking like he was auditioning for a lobster ad. (He blamed 1950s Delaware oil slicks for his skin problems.)<\/p>\n

Alviti advises Biden to \u201cget a much, much, MUCH hipper leather jacket.\u201d But Biden doesn\u2019t need to spend lavishly on this score because he\u2019s already locked up the Martha\u2019s Vineyard and Beverly Hills votes. Besides, you don\u2019t have to bust a budget for a nice coat. I snared a leather jacket for $110 on a Buenos Aires back street a few decades ago. It still looks sharp enough that cops who see me wearing it check for recent reports of stolen apparel.<\/p>\n

Biden could boost his popularity with \u201cBrunello Cucinelli baseball caps that fetch for $950,\u201d according to Alviti. With all due respect, the stylist has no understanding of southern swing voters. Railroad-engineer caps have been iconic for a century \u2014 since singer Jimmie Rodgers\u2019 heyday<\/a> \u2014 south of the Mason-Dixon line. (Admittedly, Bostonians scowl at me for wearing that hat.)<\/p>\n

Biden has long relied on fabricated anecdotes about his time on Amtrak, and slapping on a blue-and-white-striped hat might throw the fact checkers off his trail and double his chances of nailing North Carolina\u2019s electoral votes.<\/p>\n

Recommending the president strut with $950 baseball caps is on par with the advice that led John Kerry, the 2004 Democratic presidential candidate, to show off windsurfing \u2014 widely perceived as an elite hobby. Kerry never recovered from ridicule of his swim trunks as \u201csilly little bicycle pants.\u201d Similarly, Democratic presidential candidate Al Gore took a wallop when Americans learned in 1999 that his campaign was paying a feminist $15,000 a month to advise him to wear earth tones to bolster his alpha-male image.<\/p>\n

Wearing swanky apparel also risks spurring a NASCAR-style ad.<\/strong>\u00a0 Each overpriced item the president wore could be pegged to the multimillion-dollar payoffs the Biden family received from Ukraine, China, Romania and Kazakhstan.<\/p>\n