{"id":20373,"date":"2024-09-02T15:13:12","date_gmt":"2024-09-02T19:13:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/?p=20373"},"modified":"2024-09-02T15:13:12","modified_gmt":"2024-09-02T19:13:12","slug":"tsa-tyranny-gone-cutesy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/2024\/09\/02\/tsa-tyranny-gone-cutesy\/","title":{"rendered":"TSA Tyranny Gone Cutesy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mises Institute, September 2, 2024<\/p>\n

TSA Tyranny Goes Cutesy<\/a><\/h1>\n
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\u00a0<\/span>\u2022<\/span> James Bovard, <\/a><\/span><\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n
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In the glorious age of the Kamala Ascendency, the TSA is no longer restraining its contempt for American travelers. After squeezing millions of butts and boobs and never catching a terrorist, TSA decided to have fun by taunting its victims.<\/p>\n

After a traveler asked online, \u201cWhy does TSA need social media anyways?\u201d TSA\u2019s Instagram account taunted: \u201cIdk Kyle, why do your friends keep bringing stuff they shouldn\u2019t in their carry-on?\u201d Almost 40,000 people liked that post (slightly fewer than the total number of TSA employees).<\/p>\n

The TSA Instagram team added another smack at travelers who failed to devote their lives to pleasing federal agents: \u201cYou see how we don\u2019t have 20 different things shoved in our pockets before airport security? Very cutesy, very demure.\u201d Obviously, any American who does not approach a TSA checkpoint stripped down like a convict entering a prison shower bears all the blame for whatever problems he causes.<\/p>\n

TSA officials pirouetted as if they had the moral high ground. But TSA has perennially relied on idiotic seizure statistics in lieu of competently protecting the American public.<\/p>\n

A 2003 TSA press release proudly announced that it had \u201cintercepted more than 4.8 million prohibited items at passenger security checkpoints in its first year, contributing to the security of the traveling public and the nation\u2019s 429 commercial airports.\u201d TSA chief James Loy bragged to a congressional committee: \u201cWe have identified, intercepted, and therefore kept off aircraft more than 4.8 million dangerous<\/em> items.\u201d<\/p>\n

Except that TSA is Idiocy Incarnate. Every fingernail clipper that the TSA seized from a hapless grandmother became proof that the federal government is protecting people better than ever. TSA checkpoint seizures included frying pans, dumbbell sets, horseshoes, and toy robots\u2014all of which presumably would have been used to carry out suicidal hijackings. Covert government tests showed TSA screeners were utterly inept at detecting firearms and mock bombs.<\/p>\n

I have been snared by TSA\u2019s changing and boneheaded rules for cigar cutters. In 2018, I was flying out of Washington National Airport, heading to a Mises conference. A slack-jawed TSA dweeb came up after my checkpoint screening and he gleefully announced: \u201cYour bag triggered an alarm\u2014we have to search it.\u201d<\/p>\n

I followed him to a special area off to the side for bag searches. The dude starts going through my bag, pushing underwear and socks and a lonely necktie aside but finding no Uzis. Then, in one of the bag\u2019s side flaps, this aspiring Sherlock Holmes reached in and plucked out a grave danger to safe aviation.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou aren\u2019t allowed to take cigar cutters on carry-on,\u201d he announced with the air of an elementary school cafeteria monitor catching a kid who filched an extra donut.<\/p>\n

\u201cTSA\u2019s website says explicitly that cutters are allowed on carry-on.\u201d I had done my due diligence pre-flight. This particular cutter was a cheap plastic device with two tiny medal blades that sliced together like a guillotine.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh… no. You aren\u2019t allowed to take this onboard.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTSA at other airports has never prohibited cigar cutters.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have strict rules here. It doesn\u2019t matter what the rules are at other airports.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat harm could it do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt has a sharp edge.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think I\u2019m going to use it to break into the cockpit and circumcise the pilot?\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Barni\"He just stared and kept breathing through his mouth.<\/p>\n

I threw up my arms: \u201cFine\u2014take it\u2014I have a flight to catch.\u201d<\/p>\n

After getting out of sight of that checkpoint, I popped open my carry-on bag and confirmed that the TSA wizard missed my back-up cigar cutter.<\/p>\n

No shameless emotional string-pulling would be complete without a canine cameo. On Monday, [8\/26], TSA announced the winner of its 2024 Cutest Canine Contest Winner\u2014a dog named Barni who sniffs in the San Francisco airport.<\/p>\n

But TSA failed to mention the role that its dogs have in plundering any traveler who is caught with more than $5,000 in cash\u2014the magic threshold for feds considering money \u201csuspicious.\u201d Most American currency has micro-traces of narcotics, and a stack of bills usually suffices for a positive alert from a drug sniffing dog\u2014thus entitling the feds to commandeer the cash. Dan Alban, a savvy Institute for Justice attorney, observed: \u201cThis is something that we know is happening all across the United States. We\u2019ve been contacted by people who have been traveling to buy used cars or buy equipment for their business and had their cash seized.\u201d<\/p>\n

If TSA wants to set a record for social media likes, it should craft a meme with a Monty Python-style witch drowning to illustrate TSA\u2019s devotion to the Fifth Amendment and private property rights.<\/p>\n

But TSA is positively gloating nowadays over its latest high-profile seizure campaign. \u201cPeanut Butter is a liquid. We said what we said,\u201d declared the TSA Twitter account last week, sounding like Moses on Mt. Sinai announcing a supplement to the Ten Commandments. And since TSA claims that peanut butter is a liquid, it can effectively confiscate any jar it sees people have in carry-on luggage. TSA\u2019s Instagram account last week posted a photo of the U.S. Olympic team in the rain on a boat and labeled it, \u201cTSA\u2019s social media team on our way to explain why peanut butter is a liquid.\u201d TSA offered mock heroics in lieu of common sense.<\/p>\n

I got snared by that bone-headed rule when I was flying out of Dallas last November. After the x-ray sounded an alert, a beefy young female agent hoisted my bag and carted it to the end of the checkpoint area. She summoned me to explain its contents and my depravity. \u201cIs there anything sharp in this bag?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d I replied.<\/p>\n

She unzipped my bag and began pawing through it. In lieu of a machete, she found a small half-full jar of peanut butter. \u201cYou can\u2019t take liquids on a flight,\u201d she announced solemnly.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s peanut butter. It\u2019s not liquid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s liquid and it\u2019s prohibited,\u201d was her decree. Did TSA covertly classify peanut butter as a bioweapon, or what?<\/p>\n

\u201cYa, whatever,\u201d I said as I abandoned the jar to federal custody. I\u2019d had worse losses on earlier trips.<\/p>\n

Chatting with another jaded traveler as I put my boots back after clearing the Dallas checkpoint, he asked if I was upset about losing my peanut butter.<\/p>\n

I smiled: \u201cI\u2019ll settle accounts with TSA later.\u201d<\/p>\n

Plenty of irate travelers settled accounts with TSA on Twitter after it posted its pompous decree on peanut butter as a liquid.<\/p>\n

@gaborgurbacs<\/a> replied, \u201cYou can demonstrate it by drinking a bottle. Post the video.\u201d @la_smartine <\/a>retorted, \u201cYou meant \u2018is a bomb\u2019. You\u2019re welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n

@amitylee13 <\/a>groused, \u201cYour agency has exceeded its expiration date, unlike my peanut butter you stole from me.\u201d<\/p>\n

@_GlenGarry\u00a0<\/a> tweeted, \u201cPeanut Butter won\u2019t invade your privacy or assault you in public spaces.\u201d<\/p>\n

@ErikVoorhees <\/a>replied, \u201cThanks for keeping Americans safe from peanut butter.\u201d<\/p>\n

@BecketAdams <\/a>scoffed that TSA was \u201ca permanent DMV for airports staffed by peanut butter-drinking perverts.\u201d<\/p>\n

@DrCarolLow <\/a>warned, \u201cThey\u2019ll steal your yogurt as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

@NHpilled <\/a>snarked, \u201cNo wonder you guys have failed 90-95% of your b0mb tests.\u201d<\/p>\n

Some Twitter users thumped the arbitrariness of the rule\u2014since people can load as much peanut butter as they please onto a sandwich and march unmolested through TSA checkpoints. As @thisone0verhere\u00a0<\/a> scoffed, \u201cPeanuts are not [liquid] so I will see you and my new portable food processor on my next flight.\u201d<\/p>\n

The latest controversies are a reminder of the deluge of substitute agency names for that TSA acronym\u2014\u201cToo Stupid for Arby\u2019s,\u201d \u201cTear Suitcase Apart,\u201d \u201cThousands Standing Around,\u201d \u201cTake Scissors Away,\u201d \u201cTotal Sexual Assault,\u201d \u201cThey Steal Anything,\u201d \u201cTactics to Suppress Accountability,\u201d and \u201cThree Stooges Audition.\u201d<\/p>\n

If TSA\u2019s social media team wants to be marginally less useless, they should sponsor a contest for better substitute names for TSA.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mises Institute, September 2, 2024 TSA Tyranny Goes Cutesy \u00a0\u2022 James Bovard, \u00a0\u00a0 In the glorious age of the Kamala Ascendency, the TSA is no longer restraining its contempt for American travelers. After squeezing millions of butts and boobs and never catching a terrorist, TSA decided to have fun by taunting its victims. After a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[542,4302,451,3896,2599,4059,771,509,4044,4301,105,2809,1726,1531,76],"class_list":["post-20373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-bill-of-rights","tag-cigar-cutters","tag-constitution","tag-dallas","tag-dan-alban","tag-dogs","tag-fourth-amendment","tag-humor","tag-instagram","tag-james-loy","tag-peanut-butter","tag-seizures","tag-sherlock-holmes","tag-transportation-security-administration","tag-tsa"],"yoast_head":"\nTSA Tyranny Gone Cutesy - James Bovard<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"TSA is having fun taunting its victims\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/2024\/09\/02\/tsa-tyranny-gone-cutesy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"TSA Tyranny Gone Cutesy - 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The Wall Street Journal called Bovard \"the roving inspector general of the modern state\" and Washington Post columnist George Will called him a \"one-man truth squad.\" His 1994 book, Lost Rights: The Destruction of American Liberty, received the Free Press Association\u2019s Mencken Award as Book of the Year. His Terrorism & Tyranny won the Lysander Spooner \"Best Book on Liberty in 2003\" award. He received the Thomas Szasz Award for Civil Liberties work, awarded by the Center for Independent Thought and the Freedom Fund Award from the Firearms Civil Rights Defense Fund of the National Rifle Association. Bovard\u2019s writings have been publicly denounced by FBI director Louis Freeh, the Secretary of Agriculture, the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, the Postmaster General, and the chiefs of the U.S. International Trade Commission, the Drug Enforcement Administration, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, and the Federal Emergency Management Agency, as well as by many congressmen and other malcontents.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.jimbovard.com","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jim.bovard","https:\/\/x.com\/jimbovard"],"url":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/author\/admin\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20373","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20373"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20373\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20374,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20373\/revisions\/20374"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20373"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20373"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimbovard.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20373"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}