My first reaction to the details of the alleged crimes for which Interpol is chasing Julien Assange ( CALL INTERPOL! A Condom Broke! (WikiLeaks Farce)_) was to laugh. OK, actually, first I snorted, then I guffawed.
But now I’m wondering. Many of the crimes for which Interpol pursues people – genocide, mass murder, etc. – have no statute of limitations.
If Interpol is pursuing some Aussie based on a broken condom, does that mean that there is now no statute of limitation on prosecutions related to broken condoms?
I figured that the statutory clock had run out on all my previous offenses, but…. Geez.
I suppose that it would be a a wild stretch of imagination to say that placing Assange on INTERPOL’s most wanted list had anything at all to do with Washington pressuring for the Australian “traitor’s” head to be delivered on a platter. No, it is far more likely that condom breakage is simply viewed in Europe as crime of international importance. Perhaps they attend sensitivity training classes more regularly than us Yanks.
they’re just looking for any excuse to get him
Until the legal rights of men are clarified in this rapidly developing area of international law, my personal jailhouse lawyer recommends the following:
1. destroy all condoms that break so that no evidence of the incident exists
2. save all unbroken condoms after use and tag them with the date, time, and name (if known) of the participant to prevent a disgruntled partner from making unfounded claims of condom breakage
3. to avoid criminal complaints altogether, wait until the participant is passed out before penetration, or too intoxicated to know what is happening
4. in cases where the participant knows who you are and was cognizant at the time of the condom breakage, call the following morning and express your “concern” and follow up with a gift of flowers to mitigate hostility
I knew there were good reasons why I always instinctively distrusted condoms.
Normally there’s an 18 year statute of limitations, 22 year if attending school, on broken condoms. Then you’re released from your sentence…unless the kid becomes unemployed and moves back in.
I liked Sweden a lot more when people had names like Hrothgar and Thorvald and gender equity officers were found useful as boat anchors. Man, talk about forty miles of bad road!
At least they still make pretty good chocolate.