New York Post, February 22, 2024
Will student-debt racketeering save Biden in November?
President Biden announced Tuesday he will personally cancel $1.2 billion in federal student debt for 153,000 borrowers. The Supreme Court ruled in June that Biden’s $500 billion student-debt-forgiveness scheme was an illegal abuse of power.
But the White House scorns that ruling and has canceled $138 billion in student loans thus far with more bailouts on the way.
The White House boasted that “the President has cancelled more student debt than any President in history.” Team Biden has not explained how the president became the Czar of All Debts, personally entitled to shift endless burdens from individual borrowers onto taxpayers in general.
Biden’s student-loan racketeering is becoming almost comically brazen.
The beneficiaries of his latest decree will receive a personal email from Uncle Joe: “I hope this relief gives you a little more breathing room. I’ve heard from countless people who have told me that relieving the burden of their student loan debt will allow them to support themselves and their families, buy their first home, start a small business, and move forward with life plans they’ve put on hold.”
This is even more shameless than Biden’s switcheroo before the 2022 midterm congressional elections. The prez swayed legions of young people to vote for Democrats with a student-debt-forgiveness scheme he should have known the Supreme Court would nullify.
Given the growing desperation of his re-election campaign, the next step for Team Biden could be using voice-cloning software to fabricate personal voicemails from the president to millions of student borrowers.
Will young Americans soon receive purported White House phone calls with messages like the following?
“Jasper, I know your $17,429 in student debt from majoring in gender studies at Rutgers University is preventing you from fulfilling your dreams. I am ordering that your loan repayments be cut in half as of next month. And if you help me get re-elected, maybe we can take care of the rest of your loan balance.”
“Amber, I understand your $27,914 federal student debt from your six years studying left-handed basket weaving at the University of Southern California is preventing you from being all you can be. Therefore, I have issued an order suspending your loan-repayment obligations until the first of November. And if you and I work together on Election Day, then maybe the suspension will become permanent.”
Biden can personalize his pitches by exploiting the stockpiles of financial data his Treasury Department is snaring on each American — as The Post reported last month. Biden supporters may not trigger “suspicious behavior” reports by buying at Bass Pro Shops (like Republicans), but their charge-card records can still be politically exploited.
“Joshua, I hope you’re living life to the fullest since I wiped out most of your federal student debt. I guess that’s the case since you’ve been shopping lately for CBD oils, personal-anatomy plugs and that gallon-sized keg of lubricant. Good luck with that! Since you have an extra $774 a month thanks to my personal order on your federal student debt, can you send a few hundred to my campaign?”
If Biden falls far behind in the polls, he can “go nuclear” by linking student-loan-forgiveness decrees to the records of Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare) beneficiaries. Everyone knows that HIPAA confidentiality rules don’t apply to politicians doing god’s work, right?
Cue a personal message — with a bit of slurring to add authenticity — such as this one: “Alyssa, I hope you’re happy now that I cut your monthly debt repayments by 62%. My heart goes out to you with your recent suffering with herpes and hemorrhoids — that reminds me of the terrible agony Dr. Jill and I endured when my son Beau died after serving with the US Army in Iraq. Remember: Republicans want to destroy your federally subsidized health care.”
Debt-forgiveness data can also solve one of the biggest embarrassments of the Biden campaign. Everyone knows Biden is the most beloved president — 81 million votes in 2020, not all of them mailed in. But cynics scoff because few people appear at Biden campaign rallies.
This can be easily remedied with millions of “Show up or else!” summons that merge the names of debt-relief beneficiaries with data from federally subsidized license-plate scanners and cellphone tracking courtesy of the National Security Agency. To pep up the scene, debt-relief winners can be obliged to wear rainbow-flag-colored “Biden Saved My Butt” T-shirts at the rallies.
The White House bragged this week that Biden is “leaving no stone unturned in the fight to give more borrowers breathing room on their student loans.”
Will Biden succeed in portraying himself as the Moses leading oppressed millennials and Gen Z ex-students to the land of debt-free living? Unfortunately, this White House still considers taxpayers predestined for damnation.
James Bovard’s latest book is “Last Rights: The Death of American Liberty.”
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