Divine Analogies for Self-Pitying Republicans

Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-Mich.) sent a twitter message yesterday declaring that “Iranian twitter activity similar to what we did in House last year when Republicans were shut down in the House.”

Gracious – politicians face a few procedural hurdles and then claim that they suffered the equivalent of having their heads busted by goons with batons?

Twitter users responded with a deluge of analogies, proving that they felt Hoekstra’s pain. Talking Points Memo plucked some of the best lines:

*My neighbor stopped me to talk today. Now I know what it is like to be questioned by the Basij!

*Someone walked in on me while I was in the bathroom. Reminded me of Pearl Harbor.

*Walked out onto Constitution Ave in D.C. and was almost hit by a taxi. Reminded me of Tienanmen Square.

*I spilled some lukewarm coffee on myself just now, which is like being boiled in oil

*I ran through the sprinklers this morning, claimed solidarity with victims of Hurricane Katrina

* I Had to move all my stuff to a new office w/o a corner view. Now i know what the Trail of Tears was like.

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3 Responses to Divine Analogies for Self-Pitying Republicans

  1. L. Neil Smith June 18, 2009 at 4:44 pm #

    The sad, stupid thing is that all Republicans would have to do to turn things around is act consistently, when they have power, with what they always claim to believe when they’re out of power. I suppose that’s asking too much.

  2. Lawrence June 19, 2009 at 10:25 am #

    Those were precious. Thanks.

  3. Dirk W. Sabin June 22, 2009 at 1:53 pm #

    With Guttenberg, we had the Printing of the Bible and Forbidden Knowledge was open to all. With Twitter, we have the grunts and groans of idiot-speak turned loose and so Sanctioned Stupidity is open to all. Seems we’re over some mystery curve as regards the returns of technology….all that money and science to allow people to speak like simpletons in a kind of Cliff notes of Platitudes and idle revery. Perhaps someone might consider cadging one of Menckens Chewed cigars so we can rustle up the proper DNA to recreate him so he can write us a summary on how he can’t believe it but the rubes of today make the rubes of his years look like Rhodes Scholars.

    Maybe if the Tanking Fourth Estate actually published real writers like Mencken, we might not be relying on Twitter to tweet it’s sweet nothings up the smoke-blown arses of our flummoxed “public”.