Finally! A Terrorist Suspect Trait which I Absolutely, Positively Do Not Share

depositphotos_2147906-Cartoon-Elvis-impersonatorAfter years of hearing about how federal agencies believe that the warning signs of  a domestic terrorist include people who are gung-ho for the Second Amendment, or who are contemptuous of Congress, and even folks who get perturbed at waiting in grocery store lines – there is a new terrorist warning sign of which I am absolutely, positively innocent.

The Mississippi guy indicted for mailing letters with traces of ricin to Obama and Congress has a long history of working as an Elvis impersonator.

OK, I did work as a Santa Claus – but any psychologist worth his salt will confirm that Santas have profoundly different criminal tendencies than do Elvis impersonators.

UPDATE:  Federal charges in this case were dropped on April 23, 2013.  Details here.  I hope Congress or someone else can turn up the heat on the Justice Department to force them to disclose how they made a completely unjustified, super-high-profile arrest in this case.  I hope the guy who was smeared can score justice on a false arrest suit – preferably to be settled by commandeering the paychecks of the feds who done him wrong.

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6 Responses to Finally! A Terrorist Suspect Trait which I Absolutely, Positively Do Not Share

  1. Brian Wilson April 18, 2013 at 10:50 am #

    Dead give-away! Elvis never had a beard!

    • Jim April 18, 2013 at 11:01 am #

      At least he preserved that modicum of dignity.

      • The Infamous Oregon Lawhobbit April 18, 2013 at 2:42 pm #

        Really? Are you sure he doesn’t have one NOW? And less hair. And an East Coast address. And a penchant for writing…..

  2. Paddy Manning April 18, 2013 at 12:34 pm #

    Santa is a Christian figure known for interacting with children without Government vetting or training. Santa way more suspicious than Elvis!

  3. alpowolf April 20, 2013 at 8:23 pm #

    You will probably still be taken in for questioning, and waterboarded until you say “Thank you–thank you very much”.

    • Jim April 20, 2013 at 10:00 pm #

      Was at the Chantilly gun show today – folks were selling t-shirts joking about being a waterboarding instructor. Unsavory stuff….

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